Life Is Not Fair

As I comb my hair and attempt to fasten it back behind my head, the noises erupt from downstairs. Sibling squabbles turn from friendly banter to an escalated episode. I haven’t heard one of these in awhile but I recognize the necessity for a referee to aid in the dispute.

I enter the battle scene and see tears streaming down my son’s face as he feverishly wipes his chin. He had been poked with the knife his sister was using to put cream cheese on her bagel. She snaps to attention and simply declares “It is NOT fair!” in attempts to justify her anger.

Where is this coming from? I run through all of the previous events of the day. There were hardly enough minutes in the morning leading up to this to have allowed for anything so big to unfold. Then, it hit me. The very first thing she had done thing morning was asked if she could get hot lunch. She already knew the answer but hoped for something different. We allow each of our children to get hot lunch once a week. They can pick the day but once a week is it. However, in efforts to be like her friends who get hot lunch every day, she had gotten hot lunch several times a week for several weeks in a row. So there was no more money in her account to get hot lunch today. This is what registered as “unfair” today.

Does she even understand the definition of this word? Fair: free from bias, dishonesty or injustice; marked by favoring conditions. Her life was NOT fair and was filled with injustice after injustice. It was NOT fair that her father died from an illness so easily treated if there had been money and/or access to medicine. It was NOT fair that she had been left alone to fend for herself. It was NOT fair that her mom could not take care of her and keep her in her care. Her life had NOT been marked with favoring conditions. But she is not there anymore. And despite the new hope and future, she is stuck in resolving to the fact that “life is not fair”.

I want to point my judging finger at her and ask, “How long oh Lord will it take before she sees the new life YOU have given her?” But is she the only one? Have I ever been guilty of declaring the unfairness of my own ridiculous circumstances? Not just in my youth but even this week, stomping my foot, clenching my fists and tightening at the injustices of my own life. I confess that I don’t always see the fairness or “favoring conditions” in the path set before me. In our human condition somehow our opinions are not always accurate or able to assess the true markings of where we are at. But I am curious: how “fair” do we really want life to be? Are we sure it will work in our favor?

PRAYER: God, You have not left any of us alone but placed us in Your family. You have provided all that we need. Life is not fair... You actually give us more than we could ever deserve or earn on our own! You offer unconditional love despite our mistakes and shortcomings… again and again and again. Open our hearts and our eyes to see all that You do for us. May our hearts be grateful!

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