Look In the Mirror

Take a look in the mirror. 

Don't do the quick glance over... take a good look. Lean in and see what is really there.

It is not a reflection pieced together by distortions and blemishes. It is not an image of mess ups and mistakes. 

It is a masterpiece in process being made complete by the Creator of the universe. 

Don't shy away or hide what is really there.

Go ahead & be who God made you to be.  

(Second image taken in a window display downtown Geneva, IL)

Through The Eyes of a Child

Adult phrases interpreted in the mind of a 7 year old adventurer…

1. Hanging on by a thread. (Can you guess which one is his towel?)

2. Feeling "blue" today. (An original masterpiece, complete with signature)

3. Take on the world.

4. Climb to new heights. (See if you can find the plastic orange gun hidden in the tree?)

5. Cash in on life.

Why Is It Easier to Point Out the Negative?

The green tooth brush is left out again. It sits on the kitchen window sill again. After so many requests for the tooth brush to be kept tucked away properly in the bathroom, here it rests out in the open… again.

Why does this 8 inch piece of plastic with bristles on the end grind at me, stirring up so much irritation? Yes, I can justify my habitual nagging by saying she is being disrespectful. She has been told countless times not to leave it out and refuses to listen. I judge her motives by her actions and slap a label to it. She is wrong again and again and I demand that this must change.

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While driving in the car yesterday, the preacher on the radio discussed negativity. Immediately the hairs on my arms stood up and I wanted to hide. I was convicted. I was embarrassed by my behavior. Why is it so much easier for me to point out the negative things my children do and not the good? I am quick to point it all out: the complaining, the shortage of gratitude, the fighting and the insufficiency of respect. Why don’t they listen? Get along? Get it right? Put that tooth brush away?!

My face reddened and my heart was pierced.

I do not want to be the negative mom. I want to be the mom that tells them I love them, first. I want to be the mom that cheers them on and sees the best in them. I want to be the mom that offers grace and patience. I do want to be a mom that keeps her children accountable but I want to be the mom that puts the value of the relationship with my child far above perfect behavior or a clean house.

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I sit each one of them down today, separately. I look them in the eye and see a reflection of God’s beautiful creation glaring back at me. I confess my negativity and ask for forgiveness. I declare my love for them and how proud I am of them. One by one, they each extend the grace to clear the slate.

The toothbrush remains on the window sill again, and I know it’s going to be OK. 

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." 

Ephesians 4:2

Fun Among Sisters

A prize for good behavior at school was hung on her door with pride: a Star Wars dry erase board. 

Youngest sister wrote a special note to everyone in the family about the rules she wanted them to know:

The sassy oldest sister changes the wording slightly... and hides her authorship by putting middle sister's name on it.

Older two sisters: think it's funny to play. 

Youngest sister: keeps asking who changed the rules? 

Mom: wonders if this is normal "sister" behavior?

"So...What Do You Do All Day?"

“So what do you do all day?” People are frantic to know how I spend the hours each day that all 5 of my children are at school. (It has only been 3 weeks.)  

For years I have been plotting and planning how I would be able to spend the time when this day finally arrived. I confess one superficial objective was being able to go to the gym without a child in tow; I wouldn’t have to feel bad about doing something for myself at their expense. I could stay and work-out and perhaps even socialize a little without worrying if I was taking too long while my son/daughters were in the childcare room.

So, here I am with my days free and the “getting to the gym” idea is the furthest thing from my mind (I don’t even belong to a gym anymore). Don’t get me wrong, I am still committed to getting in my workouts. However, I do everything I can to get them in before the kids even leave the house in hopes of keeping the day open.

With a husband that coaches and raising 5 kids, I am never lacking for things "to do". I have been looking for a job and going to interviews. I write in my blog and have served at church. I have been running family errands, grocery shopping and making dinners [The sports schedules start the minute the kids get home which means we need to eat dinner at 4:15 and then go, go, go]. But the best answer I can say about how I spend my days: praying. Jeremiah and I started a 40 day prayer challenge (Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge by Mark Batterson).  It’s a trial to change the way I pray; it’s a venture to be more specific, more persistent and to dig a lot deeper than I normally would, believing God can breakthrough any situation.

Every day I desire to be productive. I am desperate to be useful and to be able to use my God given talents and passions to contribute to a something meaningful, substantial and with a lasting impact. But I recognize I cannot create something out of nothing. I cannot open up opportunities that do not exist. But God can. Praying actually ends up being the most effective use of my time.

Prayer Challenge Day 23: Lord, I am still not completely clear about where you are leading me and what You have in mind for me to do (in terms of a job). But I trust You. I am grateful for the extra time I have to know You more during this period of waiting. I am confident that You have a plan. I pray these days will be fruitful and bring glory to Your name. Amen.

(Image source: Google Images http://www.eagleonline.com/the-magical-to-do-list/ and http://campusadvent.com/?p=365)

Adoption: Hues of Unfolding Love

I stand at the sink in the quiet of the morning rinsing the dishes. I hear the gentle sounds of footsteps coming down the steps. I can identify which child it is from the delicateness in the steps. They are slow. They are delaying the entrance in to the kitchen. With her head down she slinks into room and asks me if she can “talk to me”.

After last night’s events, I turn in hesitation and cynically wonder, “What is it this time?”

“Mom, I wanted to apologize for being mad last night. I understand why you wanted me to go to bed on time… you wanted me to be safe and get a good night’s rest. Will you forgive me?”

I pause. Rushing to the front of my mind are small glimpses of so many years of her anger, her sadness and her general disdain for the sense of family. She did not choose to be here. She did not want to be here. She did not keep quiet about her feelings. But about a year ago she had a change. God breathed new life in to our daughter and began a healing of the broken, unsettled piece of her heart. It has not been perfect. It has not been easy. But it has been a trickle of building trust and various hues of an unfolding love.

I was not expecting an apology for her sulking and exaggerated gestures of anger from the night before. I am surprised.

“Do you forgive me?” she asks again.

As God has done with me so generously and on so many, many occasions: I forgive.

It is a new day. 

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

    for his compassions never fail.

23 

They are new every morning;

    great is Your faithfulness."

Lamentations 3:22-23

Find Your Place

She knows exactly what she wants.

It’s not complicated or difficult.

She has indulged in the purest of joy.

She simply rejoices in this position and has found her peace.

Prayer: May we each find our own “window” of opportunity that makes our hearts soar and our inhibitions fly, blowing away any sense of the ordinary. It is a new day. May our souls nestle in to a new freedom found in the situations that God has placed us in.  May we not waiver or doubt but resound in the satisfaction of knowing who we are created to be. May we allow God to drive us to new adventures beyond our wildest dreams and allow Him to ignite a passion for a life that brings Him glory. Amen.  

Looking for a Job

When people hear that I am looking for a job to help cover the tuition cost, they always ask, "So, what do you want to do?" 

My answer is not what they expect to hear. 
My answer does not typically offer a paycheck. 
It's simply to be a part of this...


“The earth causes plants to grow,

and a garden makes the seeds planted there rise up.

In the same way, the Lord God will make 

goodness and praise grow

throughout the nations.”

Isaiah 61:11

So, now we pray God opens up an opportunity!

Answered Prayers for Our Daughter

Enjoying the sunshine on the back porch, we reclined in our seats after dinner. She sat up higher and scooted to the edge of her seat ready to share her big announcement. She would tell us where she had decided to go to high school. We figured we already knew the answer. We had her registered at the public school. She had been playing basketball all summer with the school team. She was digging in roots. Or so we thought.

“I feel like God wants me to go to Aurora Christian.” Paris declared with confidence.

I wrote about her dream last November (click here: Helping Our Kids Make Big Decisions). Yes, this was a dream of hers for 5 years but we thought she got the clear picture. We thought she understood the reality of the situation: we didn't have the money to do this. We thought she had agreed the public school had more to offer: AP classes, a solid basketball program, an endless list of clubs and programs to join… and her friends were would be there too.

And so God leads her back to her dream. She did not waiver.

Without the provisions to see this through, we pray.

The next day Jeremiah and I were on a walk together to pray and brainstorm ideas. His cell phone rings; we don’t normally answer calls on our walks together but this one seemed different. It was an administrator from Aurora Christian. He said we had come to mind and he wanted to know if there was anything they could do to help with our decision for Paris to go to their school.

And so the door opened: God began to provide a “way” when we could not see a way.

Prayer: Thank you Lord that you heard the sincere prayers of our daughter and are rendering a way to allow her dreams to become a reality. We know it won’t be perfect. We know You are not done providing all that we need to continue at this school (financially--we continue to trust and pray for this). We know it will be a lot of work. But we also know that You always go with her. May these formative years of her life bring her closer to You and bring glory to Your name! With deep gratitude we pray.