Alone

Just when we think we are alone, when we think we have to figure it all out by ourselves and we find ourselves barely even strong enough to stand as we peer at the end of gravely road leading no-where… God steps in and reminds us we are not alone. Sometimes it comes in the form of a song on the radio. Sometimes it comes in the form of a poem or scripture verse. Sometimes it comes in the form of a letter with words of encouragement from a friend.

But sometimes it comes in the form of a team of teachers willing to go the extra mile to put a formal plan in place to help an adopted little girl (and her family) that is struggling so much to find success at school not just with academics but with speech and social aspects as well. Today we are not alone.

Prayer: Lord, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. You knew we needed a tangible reminder that You have placed the orphan in a family and have not left us alone to figure this all out on our own. Thank you for so many people around us that are willing to help love her and love us in the mess of life. I praise You for all that You are doing… and are still yet to do!

Settling In

Over the weekend I went to my very first official event for writers called Renew and Refine Retreat for Writers. It was set in a small campground facility in Michigan complete with a farmhouse, a barn with horses, and a small lake with an even smaller sandy beach and pier. The size or the amenities of the facility had very little impact on the effectiveness of the designated time together as a group of writers.

The last time I went to a conference was just this fall for children’s ministry put together by Group Publishing. It was big and flashy, complete with just about every bell and whistle you could think of, and then some. I had at least 10 classes to choose from at every session and got to hear some amazing bands, speakers (like Beth Moore!) and even took home all kinds of free stuff. But at the time of this retreat my soul was at a point of unrest. I had been struggling all summer and in to the fall with God about my “call” in life; I had been furiously reading books, praying, fasting and just plain wrestling with God about this specifically.

You see, shortly after coming to know Christ in high school, I felt a “call” to be a missionary. During that time period in my life I took advantage of every opportunity to take various short term mission trips. Fast forwarding 20 years, I am not on the mission field and have not been since I got married. However, I have been faithfully serving “where I am planted” by getting involved in children’s ministry. Thus, this is how I found myself at this highly attended and polished conference this fall. Don’t get me wrong, it was an amazing experience; I had a blast! But I walked away from the conference more confirmed than ever that my “call” was not specific to children’s ministry—which I am certain was the exact opposite intentions of the conference.

In comparison, this past weekend I walked away with a new, unfamiliar feeling: a settling in of sorts. It was a sensation as if I was scooching back in my most favorite and comfortable chair, finding just the right spot to finally fit in and feel at rest.  There were about 20 people total at the retreat and they were fantastic (with unbelievable abilities I can only hope to acquire some day) but that was not the cause for this new found sentiment. The food was absolutely superb but it was not the reason for the sensation of being full, satisfied. The flowing grassy field with horses by the entry way of the camp was breathtaking but again, was not the source for the praise in my heart.

God has faithfully heard my cry and need for direction since last summer. He spoke directly to me through very specific incidences that have brought me to this position of writing. I know I may not be the most qualified or the most experienced but for whatever reason God has placed it on my heart to write, at this time. And for the first time in a very long time my heart is settled.

Prayer: I may not know why You have asked me to write. I may doubt that I am the best person for the “job” (so to speak) but I have given my life fully over to You Lord. I know Your ways are not like mine; Your ways are higher and I want to follow You in that! Continue to specifically guide and direct me. Thank you Lord that You care enough to answer our questions and love us even when we don’t understand the circumstances of our lives. I am grateful and full of peace today because of You!    

"Gotcha Day"

“Gotcha” Day. May 23, 2013. Three years ago today the Lord placed 2 little Ethiopian orphans in a family… our family. We did the paperwork and went to the required meetings. We followed the standard procedures and then waited. We prayed. We had truly seen the impossible done to be able to bring them home. It was not the end of the journey but only the beginning. It sounds so obvious to say that but I am not too sure we had any idea what life would be like for us once they were home with us. We were so wrapped up in the opportunity to see God glorified in our lives during the adoption “process”; and we did.

The trouble with praying for God to be glorified in our lives is that He doesn’t always provide the easy way of doing that. We secretly only want it to be during the big wins and accomplishments that we live out those prayers. Surely He does receive the glory in those incredible moments. But since our adoption, I am becoming increasingly aware that it is in the every day struggle and muddling of our lives that He reveals even more of His glory and who He is. God’s glory more often comes in the position of bringing us to the end of our own strength, the end of our own expertise and the end of our own abilities... at which point we finally allow Him to do the rest and thus making it so evident that He alone can be glorified.  He has to receive the glory; it’s nothing we could have done or gotten through by ourselves!

There are ups and downs that go along with raising children that have been abandoned and have experienced disparity that most typical Americans cannot fathom. There are days we laugh, play or hold hands together with a sense of oneness as a family. But not every day is like that.  Some days are filed with difficulties and tears, and not just for our newest family members. However, we are all in this together and finding new ways every day to see God and His glory in things we would have not known before this adoption.   

Prayer: The invitation continues to be our daily prayer, “God, be glorified in our lives.” Our hope is not in our circumstances or our own abilities. Our hope is in You! We want to know you more and more in and through the ups, as well as the downs of our lives as a family. We love and praise you Lord!

The storm

Storm chasers risked their safety in efforts to record on film the horror and devastation of the tornado that ripped through a suburb outside of Oklahoma City, OK this week. The images attempted to capture the furry and power of an almost 2 mile wide “beast” roaring through a town, wreaking havoc and devastation through everything in its path. It was difficult to get an exact gauge as to how close the film crew was to the actual tornado but as the storm approached closer and closer to the crew, they remained focused on the task at hand. They held their ground as long as they could before they hopped in their car and sought out a place of refuge to continue filming. During the recording, the audio included the growling of the 200 miles per hour swirling winds devouring everything in its way. In addition to that you could hear brief comments made by the storm chasers to one another. “Hey man, watch out. There is a car coming.” As they partnered together, they stepped out of the pathway of the car and remain filming at the same time.

It was astounding to me to hear their attention to the details of the traffic and the consideration of the risks involved with standing in the middle of the street…. And yet the even greater present danger of the tornado apparently was somehow less of a considerable risk to the person holding the camera.

As Christians we are not to judge others but to love and accept people as Christ has loved us. But if being honest about what is really in our hearts, there is an obvious correlation to the storm chasers. Simply put: it is easier to point out the cars in the road that are clear, recognizable failings and faults that we see so evidently in others, all the while ignoring the risks involved with the storm within ourselves that has the capacity to devour and devastate with immeasurable more force.

Prayer: May we judge less and love each other more. May we find strength and grace through the power of God to work on “straightening” our own shortcomings. Let us cheer each other on and stir in each other’s hearts the renewed sense that God is able to calm any storm and make us new creations in His image!  ^“I pray that out of his glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being” (Eph. 3:16)

Soaring

I peek out the window and watch my 6 year old son in the driveway. His energy is focused on a task. He rips the back of the seat off from his big wheel and chucks it as far away as he can send it. He pulls down the goggles he has strapped to his head to cover his eyes in preparation. He leans back with his front foot on the big wheel and propels himself forward with his back leg shoving off of the driveway. He soars across the blacktop. In all his glory he instinctively lets out an undeniable noise of delight from the inner most part of his being to all the world. He has found joy in the journey from one side of the property to the other… and in life.

My guess is most people would say adults are braver than children. But as I observed my son soaring across the driveway this morning, I find that I disagree.  This beautiful image of my son is the same every day. He is always seeking out and believing that anything is possible… at all times. He is tenacious in everything he does and just keeps seeking out the “soar” moments through trial and error. His forehead has been scared, knees have been scraped and crash landings are an everyday occurrence from failed attempts. But he persistently gets up again and again with a childlike faith that the impossible does not exist.

My goal and prayer is that as people receive these “Heart to HEARTEN” letters they would walk away with that same feeling I see in my son of a “child like“ courage to see possibilities where they did not see possibilities before. They would hunger for and find a renewed strength to tackle the challenge(s) they face each day.  They would accept themselves just as they are regardless of their failed attempts and be able to pick up and try again and again. My prayer is they would find their “soar” moments through Christ every day!

The ultimate letter of encouragement was already written for us, each one of us. God hand wrote a letter specifically for us because He knew we would need a pep talk. In God’s unending love for us He filled the Bible with words of encouragement, stories of His faithfulness and a promise to walk with us no matter what! The impact is immeasurable. I am compelled to take action from the change God’s “word” has done in my life.

Prayer: May we take hold of, live out and remind each other of the TRUTH declared in scripture: “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” Luke 18:27

Puzzle Pieces

My husband is a problem solver; he loves word games and things that challenge his mind. I may never understand it but he even finds joy and amusement in things like puzzles, even ones with 1000+ pieces! I have watched him put together many puzzles over the years (yes, it is more fun for me to watch him than to actually participating in putting the puzzle together). He picks up each piece, handles it with delicate care, twisting and turning it to see all of the possibilities within this one piece. He has the patience to wait for a bigger picture to evolve out of little uneven, misshaped pieces. He doesn't give up on a piece just because he doesn't see the immediate purpose for it; he trusts that he will eventually have a very specific spot that only that one puzzle piece could fill. And when the puzzle is complete, the solitary thing that remains is the satisfaction of a job well done through a completed picture.

I am one of those puzzle pieces in God’s greater design. Just as my husband’s example reminds me, God has delicate ways of caring for me and my misshaped and unrefined life, jagged corners from failures and mess-ups included. God has a way of twisting and turning me around so that I can better understand that I am valuable to Him. He sees all of the possibilities there are within me and the way I am designed, even if I don’t. He guides me and shows me with unending patience that I do in fact have a very specific place to fit in to, one that only I can fill. Whether I ever see the completed picture does not matter, for through faith I can trust that He does!

Prayer: God, I recognize my need for You every day of my life. Please mold me and shape me to be the perfect fit for the things that you have designed me to do. Build in me a faith that deepens my trust in You.  No matter how small or big the task, may whatever I do bring glory and honor to Your greater picture!   

Details woven in

It has been described many, many times before that our lives are like a tapestry, each strand of the fabric is woven together so neatly and intimately by our heavenly Father. He cares for us. He cares about the details of our lives!

However, it is easy to lose sight of this when you are up to your eye balls in sports schedules and the busy-ness of life with 5 kids, a husband who coaches, a part time job, and on and on. Easy. Very easy to to forget that God walks with me every minute of every day weaving His details in to the tapestry of my life.

Until God so gently and directly points it out to me again and again.

The verse that I chose to be the theme verse for this letter writing project is Psalms 27:14, “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” It sums up the message I want to encompass every aspect of the entire project.

My husband and I have been teaching the elementary age kids at church each week with a curriculum that is purchased. Each month there is a new theme verse that we help the students learn & memorize over the course of several weeks.  Should it really have been any surprise when I read last week’s lesson only to discover what the new verse for the month of May was? Of course it is Psalms 27:14. When you serve the almighty God, you know there is no such thing as coincidences.

So, as I sit and write each letter I am overwhelmed at the thought that God cares about this project. God cares about each person that will be on the receiving end of these letters. He is weaving His mark on the details of this project so clearly already… and I am honored to be a thread in His tapestry!

Prayer: Lord, thank you that you reveal yourself to us in gentle and loving ways. I am humbled by Your willingness to invite me in to Your work being done. Use these letters to be a blessing to people, as well as the letters that others will (hopefully) be prompted to send out. 

So young. So much to learn.

“She came over for a sleep over, our last sleep over together before she was moving to Florida. I could not count the number of times we had been to each other’s houses, the number of games we had played together and I had definitely lost count of the number of times we had laughed so hard until our sides hurt. Whatever the number, this would be the last time we would be together.

We had ordered pizza and stuffed our faces with a big bag of gummi worms. Our fingers and toes were freshly manicured and we even had a new dance routine to Beat It by Michael Jackson. But as we laid awake in our sleeping bags on the floor of my living room, no one was happy. I was mad at her. She was mad at me. We spent the next 2 hours arguing and crying about important things like kick ball and who was the best teacher at our school. Neither of us could actually bring ourselves to say what we were really mad about: losing a dear friend.”

My best friend in fourth grade moved away to FL and after that night neither of us knew if we would ever see each other again. We were too young to understand or even verbally explain the true meaning behind our emotions: we did not want our friendship to end. But despite the circumstances that were far out of our control, we vowed to write to each other. And we did. The friendship took on a different shape but we shared pieces of our lives through hand written letters that crossed state boundaries. The letters super-ceded the number of miles that separated us and for the next four years after she moved, we remained friends… all through the means of hand written letters.

Last week, I began my first week of Heart to HEARTEN with what seemed most natural, the people closest to me: my husband and children. Each morning was a different family member to receive a letter. By Friday, changes were already beginning to occur. In the flurry of morning activity to get everyone in my house ready and out the door for school, I realized two of my kids were sitting at the kitchen table. One looked up at me and asked, “Mom, can you help me find a Bible verse to include in my letter?” They were writing letters, letters to encourage someone else, just as they had been encouraged by the letter I had written them.  They are young and have so much to learn. But I was brought back to the start of my own letter writing experience in fourth grade. I was young and had so much to learn. And yet my life was forever changed through the power of hand written letters, just as theirs can be right before my very eyes.

My Prayer:    Lord, may you change the lives of those receiving these letters, regardless of age or circumstances. May they be encouraged and feel empowered to do all that is required of them each day. But more than that, may the joy in their hearts spill over and be shared with someone else who may need to be encouraged as well.  

Will it be enough?

Over the weekend, as I was preparing to launch this Heart to HEARTEN project, I woke up suddenly in a panic. What in the world am I thinking? I can’t do this; I don’t know 365 people to write to. This is crazy!

Shortly after that mini-mental battle, my husband and I sat down to have a family devotional with our children. As I led the discussion after reading the story in the book of John, chapter 6, about Jesus feeding the 5,000 I was literally stopped in mid sentence. I was desperate to help my children understand the lesson of the story only to realize I was in need of grasping the concept as well.  It was neither a new story, nor a new idea but the impact was fresh in purpose as I read it again this weekend. One of the greatest effects of the Bible always seems to be: every time I read the pages, for the first time or the hundredth time, the words always find a unique way to apply to my current circumstances.

It was in that moment, I realized I was completely accurate in recognizing I am not capable of doing this writing project on my own. This is crazy… if I attempt it own my own abilities and strength. But God is so generous in letting us play a part in His greater story. He wants us to bring our feeble attempts, our meager portion of loaves and fish and offer them to Him. Just as Jesus took the items from the little boy, He will bless them in His name and then pass them out to the multitudes. He will make it enough. Let me say that again, He WILL make it enough! Then, when the time comes to look back at this completed project, I know I will not only see how God was enough but will be amazed at the overflow that remains and the immeasurable details God orchestrated along the way, just as He always does.

My prayer: Heavenly Father, I am offering my measly amount of loaves and fish to you through this writing project. Please take this and make it more than enough, allowing only YOU to receive the glory for all that will unfold. I am humbled and grateful to be a part of Your greater story. 

The start of "Heart to HEARTEN" is today!

Today I am launching a new writing project called Heart to Hearten. The project is merely this: write one hand written letter per day to one person for one year. Also, I will include a stamp in each letter for that person to send out another letter to someone else. The “person” I write to will change every day but the idea is to encourage someone in their own journey, as well as prompt them to spread that encouragement to someone else to multiply the effects.

The word “hearten” may not roll off your tongue as easily as the word “dis-hearten”, which we are, unfortunately, all probably more familiar with. The definition of “hearten” is to incite with courage or good cheer; to encourage. The action of to incite is simply a stirring or rustling of what already exists but may need an awakening. My prayer is to awaken a sense of courage and good cheer in every letter to those who may receive it through this project, just as those in my past have done for me when I have received a letter.

Hand written letters have been a part of my life since I was in fourth grade. I have consistently had a pen pal and/or someone to correspond with since that time. There has always been something personal and meaningful for me to receive a hand written letter from someone in the mail. The person took the time to share something with me in a way only they could, with part of who they are defined in the curves and formations of the letters on the page. Over the course of so many years, these letters have taken shape in different ways but the effects are profound. They have been formative in the design and creation of the silhouette defining who I am today as a person and as a writer. These letters have been building blocks in my own search to find courage and good cheer in every step of my journey of life.

My Prayer: Lord, this is a writing project inspired and impressed upon my heart by You to do. May it bring glory to Your name, and incite courage and good cheer in the hearts and lives of those receiving these letters that can only happen through the power of YOUR unfailing love!