Over the
weekend I went to my very first official event for writers called Renew and Refine Retreat for Writers.
It was set in a small campground facility in Michigan complete with a farmhouse,
a barn with horses, and a small lake with an even smaller sandy beach and pier.
The size or the amenities of the facility had very little impact on the
effectiveness of the designated time together as a group of writers.
The last
time I went to a conference was just this fall for children’s ministry put
together by Group Publishing. It was big and flashy, complete with just about
every bell and whistle you could think of, and then some. I had at least 10
classes to choose from at every session and got to hear some amazing bands,
speakers (like Beth Moore!) and even took home all kinds of free stuff. But at
the time of this retreat my soul was at a point of unrest. I had been struggling
all summer and in to the fall with God about my “call” in life; I had been
furiously reading books, praying, fasting and just plain wrestling with God about
this specifically.
You see, shortly
after coming to know Christ in high school, I felt a “call” to be a missionary.
During that time period in my life I took advantage of every opportunity to
take various short term mission trips. Fast forwarding 20 years, I am not on
the mission field and have not been since I got married. However, I have been
faithfully serving “where I am planted” by getting involved in children’s
ministry. Thus, this is how I found myself at this highly attended and polished
conference this fall. Don’t get me wrong, it was an amazing experience; I had a
blast! But I walked away from the conference more confirmed than ever that my “call”
was not specific to children’s ministry—which I am certain was the exact
opposite intentions of the conference.
In
comparison, this past weekend I walked away with a new, unfamiliar feeling: a settling in of sorts. It was a sensation as if I was scooching back in my most
favorite and comfortable chair, finding just the right spot to finally fit
in and feel at rest. There were about 20
people total at the retreat and they were fantastic (with unbelievable abilities
I can only hope to acquire some day) but that was not the cause for this new
found sentiment. The food was absolutely superb but it was not the reason for
the sensation of being full, satisfied. The flowing grassy field with horses by
the entry way of the camp was breathtaking but again, was not the source for the
praise in my heart.
God has
faithfully heard my cry and need for direction since last summer. He spoke
directly to me through very specific incidences that have brought me to this
position of writing. I know I may not be the most qualified or the most
experienced but for whatever reason God has placed it on my heart to write, at
this time. And for the first time in a very long time my heart is settled.
Prayer: I
may not know why You have asked me to write. I may doubt that I am the best
person for the “job” (so to speak) but I have given my life fully over to You
Lord. I know Your ways are not like mine; Your ways are higher and I want to
follow You in that! Continue to specifically guide and direct me. Thank you Lord that You care enough to
answer our questions and love us even when we don’t understand the
circumstances of our lives. I am
grateful and full of peace today because of You!
Amy, what a wonderful thing to happen for you at the retreat -- I'm so glad you wrote this and glad I met you.
ReplyDeleteNatalie, I'm glad I was privileged enough to go. Thank you for being willing to share a bit of your life and your writing. I enjoyed getting to meet you too!
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