What Happens When We Hurt

Running around outside at dusk on the summer day illuminated with joy and innocence. It was cool compared to the intense heat of the day. Knees coated in dirt, hands calloused from swinging and playing, feet bare and stained from running on sidewalks. The gentle wind reminded us that it would not be summer for much longer. My mom had called us in but we determined to take one last tour around the yard. At full speed the final lap came to a screeching halt by a jolt of pain surging through my whole leg. A huge chunk of skin from my big toe on my foot had been unexpectedly ripped off and was bleeding, leaving a trail of crimson liquid behind.

The immediate instinct was to seek out someone to come to my aid: a cry for a protector and caregiver. I needed help moving away from the place where I had stubbed my toe and to begin addressing the wound, seeing to it that it was safely taken care of. Naturally my mom was always quick to scoop me up, bring me safely inside our house and take care of any illness or injury. She acknowledged my pain and took care of me with gentleness and love. After a thorough examination and a clean bandage wrapped around my toe, I was tucked in to bed, sealed with a kiss and a nighttime prayer. Despite the throbbing pain still remaining in my foot, I pulled the covers up to my chin in the security of her care knowing I would be OK.

I find even now as an adult some of those same instincts kick in when I am hurt. Last week someone we have loved and trusted for many years hurt our family deeply with their words and actions. Immediately, I instinctively wanted to escape from the situation to a place of safety, looking for someone to come to our aid. Seeking the True source of Help, I called out to God to bring me (us) to a place away from the source of pain. I needed to know God would acknowledge the pain we felt by their hurtful words and actions so freely given. They do not know how hurtful it was, but God does. I offered Him the open wounds of our hearts. In His faithfulness He scooped us up and validated the hurt that oozed from deep within us. The power of God is a mystery but somehow managed to bandage the gaping hole in our lives. God gently administered the balm that began the healing process as only He can do.  Although the pain is not gone, it still throbs in our souls, but He continues to tuck us in each night, sealed with His love and comfort. We rest in the security of knowing we are not alone but in His care and because of that we will be OK.           

Adoption: She was Healed, We Were Not

As we walk in to Walmart, my oldest daughter, Paris, and I decide to divide and conquer the list of needed items from the store. We each quickly take our half of the list and walk in separate directions. My two adopted children, Birdy and Elias, stand there in confusion as to who they should “go” with. Paris immediately looks back, grabs the hand of her brother and scoops him up on her back. They trek away as if voyaging off on the adventure of their lives together.

Birdy is left with no choice but to meander towards pet supplies with me. Looking over her shoulder, she stares at her two siblings and says something out loud. I don’t know if she meant to ask me or not but she wanted to know why Paris “always picks him”. In the hustle of the store I did not filter my answer with fluff or political correctness; perhaps I should have. I simply reminded her, “Birdy, you have to remember that for three and a half years you did not want to be here or have anything to do with any of us; you may not have even noticed but they became friends during that time. It’s just in the past few months that you have changed your mind… it’s going to take some time to build that friendship with your siblings like he did too.”   

The bare, naked truth of the family matter is that Birdy was healed this past fall, we were not. God changed her heart and has made her a new member of our family! We are all beyond grateful. But the rest of us have some catching up to do. Of course we are enjoying creating new patterns of how to be a family together but that is what they are: new. It’s easy to ask us, “Well why don’t you just all forgive each other and be one big happy family?” Asking a question like is completely oblivious to the impact the difficulty and pain with our daughter had on our family for so long. Relationships take time; healing and building trust in relationships take even more time.

 It was a miracle. And there are new little miracles many days as we are building and restoring relationships together. There are also those days we slip up and fall back in to our old patterns (each one of us, Birdy included) and we have to remind ourselves those are our old ways; we apologize, forgive each other and continue to move forward.

I wish I could snap my finger and make each one of my children be friends with each other, no squabbling and no contention. Yet I know I am only the mom and I cannot do that. Our heavenly Father can snap His finger and change us in an instant like a strike of lightning; however, more times than not He pushes us to new challenges and situations that involve the unhurried “crock pot” changes in our lives to make us the people, the family, the Christ followers He has intended us to be. In the slow and arduous process, we are certain to discover our Savior in a deeper, more intimate way: a way we could not have found in quick and easy circumstances.

Chaney Family Prayer: As a family, we are in this for the long haul… may we be open to You, Lord, as You reveal Your love and glory to us each day. Psalm 25: 4-5

Show us your ways, Lord,
    teach us your paths.
 Guide us in your truth and teach us,
    for you are God our Savior,
    and our hope is in you all day long.

The Chorus of Our Lives

The curved wall is covered with a larger than life canvas creating the scene when Christ was crucified before a crowd. Walking to the right through a cross shaped opening cut out of a plaster wall, there is a wooden cross hanging on the wall. Weaving to the right again, past that is a dark tunnel, depicting the empty tomb. It winds around and ends in a room filled with a mirrored blue sky and white clouds rendering a declaration through the hallelujah chorus.  

I sit on the floor in awe and am compelled to join in the song of praise.  God’s presence is all around and I wonder what can I do to contribute to the worship? Images flash through my mind of a chorus being sung by people I know, without every singing at all:

|: Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! :|

 A mom serves her family by cooking, cleaning and laundry with love

|: For the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth.

A photographer uses her talents to bless everyone around her, without a fee or a bill

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! :|

A technology guru uses social media as a platform to sharing scriptures of hope

King of kings, and Lord of lords,
A musician leads others in a song to bring glory to God and not themselves
|: King of kings, and Lord of lords, :|
A nursery worker holds a crying baby so parents can attend church
And Lord of lords,
A dad takes the time to coach his daughter's basketball team
And He shall reign,
A grandma diligently prays for her children and grandchildren
And He shall reign forever and ever,
A neighbor shovels a driveway over and over again for a retired couple
King of kings, forever and ever,
A nurse cares for the elderly and the "forgotten" in a nursing home
And Lord of lords,
A mailman delivers the mail every day with a smile
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
A constructor worker labors and crafts things together with integrity
And He shall reign forever and ever,
A pastor studies and prepares a sermon to encourage his church
|: King of kings! and Lord of lords! :|
A janitor cleans up after people with dignity and pride regardless of the task
And He shall reign forever and ever,
A fast food worker shows patience and kindness during the lunch rush every day
King of kings! and Lord of lords!
An aspiring writer sending letters to everyone she knows to encourage them
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

We can be a part of the heavenly chorus,

not just with our voices but with our LIVES!

Let everything we do be as a song of praise to God!

(Photo taken by Amy Chaney in the Billy Graham Museum on the campus of Wheaton College)

Life in 2.5 Hours

I could drive to the city to shop, do lunch or even go up the Sears tower. (OK. This is so NOT me, but I could do it.)

I could go visit a friend all day without rush or interruption.

I could take a nap.

I could go to the Billy Graham Museum with my Bible & journal & sit there for hours (like I did in college).

Its funny how just one little change in my life can open up a whole new set of ideas. For the last 11+ years straight I have had one child or another in a half day school program. What does that mean exactly? It means that for 11 years I have scheduled my life around 2.5 hours of time. One of my children would be in class for the morning and whatever I wanted to do or accomplish would have to be done in that window of time… and then be “back” for school pick up. It’s like a 2.5 hour bungee cord letting me go but always snapping me back to the same starting point for 11 years. (Even the second half of the school day is similar: from “half day” pick up to the “all-day school” pick up time is still around 3 hours.)

Life, adventures, projects… all must be done in 2.5 hours or less.

But tomorrow my youngest son Elias will be gone all day. The half day kindergarten classes will be going on a field trip, all day. I will not need to be back at the school in my usual window of time. I have from 9 to 3:00 to do as I please. Yes, it is only one day and then I resume the regularly scheduled program. But oh the possibilities!

It got me wondering what area of my life, with one minor change, could open up a whole new set of potential or prospects.  Change requires effort. Change requires courage. But oh the possibilities! Want a real life example? My brother in law tried out for a play this weekend. He knew he would never get a part in the play without the guts to change something. Instead of just thinking about it or just cheering others on to do it… he had the bravery to try out himself. Way to go Jon! And oh the possibilities!

What small change in your life can open up a whole new set of possibilities?

 Go for it! (And don’t forget to share it with me.)