Friday, September 19, 2014

Why Is It Easier to Point Out the Negative?


The green tooth brush is left out again. It sits on the kitchen window sill again. After so many requests for the tooth brush to be kept tucked away properly in the bathroom, here it rests out in the open… again.

Why does this 8 inch piece of plastic with bristles on the end grind at me, stirring up so much irritation? Yes, I can justify my habitual nagging by saying she is being disrespectful. She has been told countless times not to leave it out and refuses to listen. I judge her motives by her actions and slap a label to it. She is wrong again and again and I demand that this must change.
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While driving in the car yesterday, the preacher on the radio discussed negativity. Immediately the hairs on my arms stood up and I wanted to hide. I was convicted. I was embarrassed by my behavior. Why is it so much easier for me to point out the negative things my children do and not the good? I am quick to point it all out: the complaining, the shortage of gratitude, the fighting and the insufficiency of respect. Why don’t they listen? Get along? Get it right? Put that tooth brush away?!

My face reddened and my heart was pierced.

I do not want to be the negative mom. I want to be the mom that tells them I love them, first. I want to be the mom that cheers them on and sees the best in them. I want to be the mom that offers grace and patience. I do want to be a mom that keeps her children accountable but I want to be the mom that puts the value of the relationship with my child far above perfect behavior or a clean house.
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I sit each one of them down today, separately. I look them in the eye and see a reflection of God’s beautiful creation glaring back at me. I confess my negativity and ask for forgiveness. I declare my love for them and how proud I am of them. One by one, they each extend the grace to clear the slate.

The toothbrush remains on the window sill again, and I know it’s going to be OK. 

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." 
Ephesians 4:2

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