I Was a Surrogate Mother

I signed up through an agency to be a surrogate; I was so excited! I was going to be a surrogate! I was going to be a part of something bigger than myself; it would be so rewarding to be a part of something like this that it would all work out so easily & beautifully… Or so I had dreamed up.

 The first couple I was placed with we did 2 rounds of Invetro-fertilization (IVF)… both failed. I was not pregnant as a surrogate. I had prayed. I had sought the Lord and I had done everything I thought He was whispering in my heart to do but the procedures had not worked. I needed a break. This was not what I had signed up for. It was suppose to be easy and fulfilling to do the work God called me to do. But this was hard.

After some time off, I could not shake the idea of being a surrogate. I called up my agency and asked to put my name back in. A few shorts months after being placed with a new couple, I was finally pregnant as surrogate.

Unfortunately, at about 10 weeks pregnant, I miscarried their single child. It was a position I was not prepared for.  We sat in the exam room after receiving the news & just wept together; there were not words to describe the depths of their pain. You see, by the time a couple is using a surrogate you have to recognize they have already been through hell and back. They have tried every other option to get pregnant without success. Using a surrogate is typically the last straw for ever having a biological child.  If we were to try again, one last and final attempt, we knew the odds were against us. The Dr. explained that based on the circumstances [many failed IVF’s (the couple’s attempts), 1 miscarriage (with me, the surrogate) and the fact that we would be using frozen embryos] we would have about a 1% chance of success rate for getting pregnant with 1 baby.

We prayed. We sought council. We did not move until we had complete unity in the decision. In the end, we decided we had to go for it. After the procedure, the initial blood work came back quite high. We were definitely pregnant. Later, at the first ultrasound the Dr’s pointed out baby #1… baby #2… and finally baby #3: Triplets! However, we were told that at any point it was not uncommon for one of the babies to disappear or not make it; the Dr’s recommended not to get too excited.

It was a wild and crazy road. All of the typical rules or standards I had known about being pregnant were out the window. Being pregnant with triplets was a whole new ball game. It was quite an eventful pregnancy. Being a part of something “bigger than myself” did not look so glamorous. My belly grew at rates you could hardly keep tract of; I won’t even mention the amount of pounds I packed on. I went on bed-rest for 8 weeks and needed the help of so many people. It was a humbling and exhausting time.

At week 25, I went in to the hospital because one of the sacks had sprung a leak. To keep the babies as safe as possible, I would remain in the hospital until delivery. Day 1 of week 26 the triplets were born in an emergency c-section; it was a close call for the lives of all three babies. Although the triplets spent the next 15 weeks in the neo-natal intensive care unit I am happy to say that all three babies survived. And actually, more than that, I can share that today, April 11^th, 2014 they are celebrating their 6 year birthday!

Being a surrogate was not at all the fairy-tale I had dream it to be. I did not sign up for failed procedures. I did not sign up for complicated pregnancies or even triplets. And yet, although God did not need me at all to accomplish the impossible, He invited me in from the very beginning to be a part of something absolutely amazing, bigger than what I could have ever imagined. God does not promise the journey He calls us to live is going to be easy or even that we will find success. But He does promise that He will never fail, and that He will always be the same faithful God through the unpredictability of it all. It truly was a miracle and I am forever grateful for having been a part of it! To His glory and honor alone.

 

Image source: Google Images: http://www.parents.com/blogs/to-the-max/2013/07/30/autism/god-isnt-healing-my-child-with-cerebral-palsy/