Cutting yellow paper in the shape of a square, I hot glue it
on the front and a safety pin on the back to a piece of purple sparkle fabric.
Slowing squeezing the tube of black puffy paint I spell out the words to honor
her. It is her birthday. It isn’t the real day she was born; it’s an arbitrary
date given to her through the adoption paperwork process. But it is hers now to
celebrate.
I set the homemade pin on the counter and engage in the hustle
of the morning: packing up library books, zipping up baggies with snacks,
wiping up spilled milk. As I pass her a bowl of cereal I suddenly notice the birthday
pin already fastened to her jacket. She had found the pin, saw her name and put
it on by herself. The anticipated moment to celebrate through this pin was
snuffed out.
Doing everything for herself was what kept her alive in Ethiopia.
She was alone; she had no one to help her. She is no longer alone though. God has
placed her in a family, in a place where she no longer has to do everything for
herself. A few months ago God cracked open her heart
and began to do amazing and miraculous things to allow her to finally say, “I
want to be here; I want to be in this family.” Her heart is changed. But her
behaviors are still in process of changing…
they have not all caught up to her new found attitude.
Yes, we will find other ways throughout the day to celebrate
her birthday. This was not the sole opportunity. But it is a reminder that receiving
love from “family” is still a foreign concept for my little girl. Although it
has been over 3.5+ years, she is still new to the idea of what it really means
to be a part of a family. And so, we continue not just a day by day but a
moment by moment interactive lesson in how to be in a family. It is not a job
or something “to-do” but simply a
lifelong invitation from one heart to another.
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