A Letter to the birth-mom of our adopted children

To the birth-mother of my adopted children,

I don’t pretend to know how difficult it must have been for you to let go of your two and only children. I trust that you did everything you possibly could to care for them and knew it was not possible to even meet their most basic needs. You were alone. You had no one to help you. The decision was chosen for you through the unfortunate circumstances of your life.

When we received your children we made you a promise to do everything we could to give them a hope and a better future that they could not have in Ethiopia. But would it be OK if I confess something to you? We thought we knew how to do that. We thought if we did all of the right things and gave them all of the necessary “stuff”, it would all just work out. But we wrong. We fed them. We clothed them. We gave them a bed to sleep in at night. We did everything we knew that parents should do and give their children. But it was not enough.

Oh Elias, after only a short time of coming here, began to fit in so well. He would roll around and play and learned to love. The love we share together with him has brought unspeakable joy. But Birdy did not open her heart to us. The hurting and struggle inside her created an unrest, encapsulating her whole being. She could not love. She would not love.

And so we just went through the motions of taking care of her, with continued emptiness and pain.  

 After over 3 years, we had only known turmoil and further distance within the relationship with Birdy. Devoid of strength and incapable of anything more, we were out of ideas.  As the adopted parents we had failed. In complete desperation, we crawled on our hands and knees to the foot of the cross of our Lord Jesus. We fully surrendered Birdy to God to do what we could not do.

With unfailing love, God scooped her up and drew her in to Himself. It was there, in the arms of her Savior she has found rest for her weary soul. He has whispered a wind of peace and calmed the storm within her heart. Every doubt and question had been answered. Her rage has been stilled. He has touched her and she will never be the same.

We love your daughter and are so blessed to have her call us mom and dad. We will continue to do all that we can to help meet her basic needs. But it is God and God alone that has offered her a HOPE and a better future! He is her creator and I know He will be faithful to complete the work He has started in her.

To God be all the glory and praise for these precious children.

With love and deepest gratitude,

Amy Chaney