He will appear in court and declare before a judge whether he
wants to be adopted or not. A friend of mine is adopting a sibling set of 3 from Ethiopia (follow her amazing story here). The way it stands in Ethiopia now,
all children age 13 or older must represent their own desire "to be" or "not to be" adopted. He is
the oldest of the 3 children and because of his age, he must go to publicly represent himself and his wishes in a court of law.
Let me assure you no
child wants to be adopted, not even to an American family with what would seem
like unlimited resources at their disposal: clean water, food, (safe) shelter,
education and medical care. It is never a child’s first “choice” to be abandoned
at a young age and in a situation where no one cares for their basic needs.
Every child longs to be kept safe and loved in the folds of their biological parents, no
matter the nationality, creed or position.
As an adopted parent of a child who, for countless days and
years, reminded us over and over again, “I do not want to be here. I don’t want
to be in your family.” I came to grips with the fact that this had nothing to
do with me; although at first glance it appeared to be, those words
were not actually meant to be a rejection of who we are as a family or what we
have to offer. Those feelings were honest and cut to the core of who my
daughter was and how she felt about her painful story. She did not choose to
lose her father to malaria. She did not choose to have her mother leave her alone
every day as she went off to work. She did not choose to have to scavenge for
food, to sleep alone and to meet her own needs… at the tender young age of 5 (and for who knows
how many years leading up to that). She did not choose the ultimate decision of
being put up for adoption. She did not choose adoption… at first.
A little over a year ago my daughter had a dream with a “man”
dressed in all white, who was bright and spoke very clearly to her. He breathed peace into the unsettling and unrelenting fight in her sole. He answered all of
her questions and calmed the raging storm in her heart. He knew her. He knew
everything about her. He gently told her He had placed her in this new family
because He loved her. Soon after, she
came to us with tears streaming down her face saying, “I am sorry for not being
nice. I want to be in your family now. I will try.”
And she has been true to her word. Oh how she is trying. It
is not a perfect picture; some days are better than others. It is not always easy for
us as her parents or even her 4 siblings to learn a new way to relate to her; she has dramatically changed. Now
she wants to stay. Now she wants to be in this family! Trust is not easily or quickly built. But it IS being built, one new day at a time. Words cannot
begin to express the gratitude we feel for the change of heart. It was a decision we could not
choose for her. She has now chosen: adoption.
So, will the young boy go to court and say "yes" or "no" to
adoption? I do not know. But I pray the Lord's grace and love seeps in to the broken fragments of the
boy’s story bringing him to this place. I pray that God's healing power will allow an undeniable answer to spring forth: yes!
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